Why I Never Showed

I could meet you in a dark room 
In that corner somewhere.
And you would do to me 
What only you and your eyes can.

I'd walk in so awkwardly
My uncertainty would show in every misstep.
You'd search me for meaning
Just to find I didn't have any left.

There'd be that pregnant pause
The only thing left between us
Ain't that the way it goes
When love runs out of luck? 

Then a thousand broken voices
From broken faces
With broken dreams would errupt.

And I'd want you to kiss me.
Or at least to try to.
Just so I could not let you.
Until I let you.

And I'd fall into that spot
The place I fit so well into
Çause you molded me to it. 
And I carved it out in you. 

My throat gets heavy
Everytime I want to hear your name.
And I've got these memories.
So dark and dusty.
I chalk them up to mistakes.

I like to think that maybe you could taste the salt.
I like to think you could feel these waves.

Yeah but if i saw you now
Yeah but if i saw you now
Yeah but if i saw you now......

Well you would probably be friendly.
And my hands would be trembling.
And we'd say the worst things
Like "hey, how have you  been?"
And we would talk about weather
Or we could talk about war
But all the while, I'd be thinking
"Hey, I don't know you anymore."

You know, I just want you to love me.
In ways I'd always hoped for.
In ways you never quite could.
In ways I shouldn't ask for.
You were the sweetest illusion
And you numbed all my senses
And now the weak spots of my heart

Still beat right up against it. 




The Secret in the Heart of the Poet

I'm a stranger in a waiting room
Where I can't recognize myself
I get flashbacks to a past that seems to
Belong to someone else
Yeah, but we don't talk about that. 
Just don't look down and don't look back. 
I was trying to let you in when I said, 

"I have all these songs I want to write
And they keep me up at night."
Yeah, babe, I keep you up at night.
I toss and turn because I can't let anybody hold me.
So I will always be lonely.
Yeah, but I need someone to know me.
So I'll write a song they can't forget....
Hey, can you feel my heart yet? 

Well you know I question everything,
Because I don't know what's real.
But if love has taught me anything,
It's that I don't know how it feels.

You were drunk when you said it,
But you said it and now I cannot forget it,
I think you were trying to let me in when you said

You have all these songs you want to write
And they keep you up at night
Yeah, babe, I feel that all the time.
But I can't let anybody hold me
Guess I prefer to be lonely, 
Yeah, but, I need someone to know me...
So I'll write a song they can't forget
Hey can you feel my heart yet?

 
Let's keep secrets safe.
And keep no regrets.

 

I was gonna marry you.

I bet you think I'd say
I wasted all my good years on you.
Your regret tends to work that way.
With no regard for what it turns me into. 
You'll go to church in search of anything
To keep from feeling like you've sinned.
I'll take another man for what I can,
Just to feel like someone new again.

Like I'm not holding on 
Too long

Because I do.
I do.
I do. 

I guess it should have been strange.
Walking into our old place. 
And where our baby was to lay,
Now there's just a suitcase.
But it just felt so familiar.
Like I'd gone back in time
And I just wanted to stay there.

Do you think I'm out of mind?
Out of mind...

Because I do.
I do. 
I do.

I have these trials in my mind
Where we both argue our side
And the judge tries to keep us in line
But we get wild from time to time
And you'd think I'd learned to hate you
The way I fight you so fierce
You'd think I wouldn't love you
After all of those years

All of those years

But I do
I do. 
I do.

Right after you told me it was over
You called me like a friend
And you just begged me to stay sober
Said there's so much salt when these things end.
I asked you to do one thing for me
"When it gets hard to move on,
Don't go and twist my memory to make it easier I'm gone..."

But now that you're gone,

That's what I do.
I do. 
I do.

And I was gonna marry you. 

 

Let the New Age Begin

Come and lay down.
Breathe with me now.
I know you've been through
More than most of us. 

You can set it all down.
You're with good people now.
You will be so safe with us. 

So let it in,
Let the new age begin,
And may you always see yourself in perfect love. 

Open your eyes
It's a brand new life
It's a golden age and there's peace here now.

I will sing to you
Blessings on blessings
Like may your world at last be restored in beauty.

Let it in. 
Let the new age begin.
And may you always see yourself 
In perfect love.

May you always see yourself
As perfect love. 
May you always see yourself as perfect love.

 

What will we keep from what's behind us?

Winter numbs my body like another year.
But the warmth of another here
Has got me sleeping sound.

Enter my empty atmosphere.
There's a message in the silence dear.
It's screaming at me now.

It was nothing like love
It could never be enough.

How long would you have hesitated?
How long would I have waited?
Until the answer stayed the same.

Time splits.
Seems to bend us in again.
Seems to just begin again.
In the end, I'm standing still.

It was nothing like love
I could never be enough.

But we choose the moments that define us,
So what will we keep from what's behind us.

If we choose the moments that define us,
What will we keep from what's behind us?

Goodbye sweet child of mine.
I have no idea where to keep you now.
Goodbye sweet child I'll never hold.
I'll hold you forever somehow.

I'll turn it into love.
Because it's what she deserves.
It's all she ever was.

 

I realized we're just the same.

This city sings she's built for those believe

She'll test your patience and your grace.

Was stumbling through all her streets and avenues

When I realized we're just the same. 

It threw me out, the storm was raging loud, 

Guess it was written on my face

You took my hand and you tried to understand

You can't see tears in the rain. 

Oh if there's something I should know,

You better tell me now.

On second thought, I guess there's really not anything

To stop me falling now.

So I just won't look down. 

You let me in so I tried to begin

To make some space inside myself

To love brand new 

Like it was the only thing to do

Man, I felt like someone else. 

A flash of light 

Split me open inside

Said  there was something left to save

Said it could be beyond what I believe

Said I could love like I was brave.

So if there's something I should know

Just don't tell me now.

On second thought, 

I guess there's really not 

Anything to stop me falling now

So I just won't look down. 

I think I knew you in another life. 

 

You have a habit of spinning the truth

You choose to believe what conveniences you

You're a lot like me. 

You're a lot like me.

You like to get fucked up as soon as you wake up.

Go through your life like you are completely numb.

Because you feel everything.

You're a lot like me.

I think I knew you in another life. 

Is this karmic? 

Do I deserve it? 

Is it really love or just an ego trip? 

If I love you most when you leave, 

What does that say about me? 

You come and go exactly as you please.

With no regard for who it hurts 

It's in the name of your dreams.

You're a lot like me

You're a lot like me.

When you meet someone new

You win them with your charm, 

But if they get close, 

Then you're always on guard

Because you feel everything.

You're a lot like me.

I think I knew you in another life. 

Is this karmic? 

Do I deserve it?

Is it really love or just an ego trip? 

I love you most when you leave.

What does that say about me? 

 

Quitter

Susie's Song

You and Me

Someday